I am so grateful for the journey I’ve been through that got me to where I am today…

As crazy as it sounds, I am grateful for it all, even the traumas. When going through my spiritual awakening and the shadow work, the hardest thing for me to understand and comprehend was forgiving those who hurt me, whether intentional or not, and to be thankful for those experiences. Like, how could I ever be thankful for tragedy and trauma, hurt, pain, suffering. For the longest time, I couldn’t. I would try but it wasn’t wholehearted. But, I was putting too much focus on them and what they did. I hadn't even forgave myself for a lot of things.  So, in continuing to do the work and loving myself, I began to find more ability to forgive. It is never forgotten but I don’t hold on energetically to what happened. I see that if it hadn’t happened, I would not be able to find grace, compassion, and the love for all things and be able to hold space for other women who need to find the healing. And, anything I did, was what I chose through what I had been through.  Of course, I would never want to go through those things or anyone else to AT ALL. If I could stop it all from ever happening to anyone, I would, but that is not the world we live in and there are hurt people hurting people out there. 

I am here to help others heal so that they can live a life of gratitude, fulfillment, and doing what they love through loving themselves. I won’t go into detail of the things that I have gone through but I feel it is good to outline them to let you know where I come from. I no longer focus on these things from a place of hurt but from love. Every single one of us can only do life with what we have and I hold no bad feelings or grudges for anyone. I was fortunate to have people who loved me and showed me in their own way. 

· My mom and dad divorced when I was 2.5 years old and my Dad and I moved in with my Grandma

· I got to see my mom for 2 weeks in the summertime until I was 12 and any communication between my father and mother was full of anger and hatred for each other

· At age 7, blended families with my Stepmom and siblings who I love so much; it was an adjustment from being an only child and then moving out of my Grandma’s. She was my ROCK

· My mother was not in my life from 12 to almost 18

· Drug use (fortunate enough to not have done anything major only because I watched people I cared about and those I barely knew lose everything for the next high)

· Excessive alcohol consumption for decades; it really was what my life revolved around from a young age up until 2019

· Loss – Miscarriage and loved ones, most recently and within 5 months of each other, my very dear Grandma, and my younger sister who balanced me 

· Excessive Weight Gain / Weight Loss (to the point that I looked sick)

· Divorce with young children

· Sexual, emotional, and mental traumas at different times in my life from childhood to adult

· A relationship that was the most toxic and emotionally abusive that I had ever been in and getting out alive

In going through many of the things in childhood and not knowing how to deal, I suffered subconsciously with self-hatred, depression, anxiety, low self-worth, weight gain/loss, difficulty in all relationships including with myself and within my marriage, I struggled to say no and always set out to people please, I had a very hard time speaking up for myself, and I truly lacked self-identity. And, to the core, I did not love myself. I would freak out on my small boys for things that really should not have been a big deal. I had to control every aspect even other people and react negatively when it didn't go as I wanted.  I did not know how to process or deal with my emotions.  I would snap at loved ones. I was stressed to the max all of the time, but was unable to ask for help because I was highly independent. I could not go with the flow. I held expectations for everyone and when they didn’t meet them, I would get upset and allowed it to consume me. I would play scenarios in my head on repeat. Always second guess how I showed up, what I said and did, what I should’ve said and done, worried about what they thought of me, wondered if they didn’t like me, took everything personally. I would push people away. I would judge others on their looks or how they acted because I was so insecure with myself.  I would judge those who had more because I felt I didn’t deserve it.  After a “break-up”, be so depressed and stay in bed for days only doing what I had to do. I’d continually give my heart to men who could not commit and didn’t know what they wanted, but I kept on trying to win them over to be “the one” who made them want to. Worst thing to do! I’d say ‘yes’ to things I really didn’t want to. I was not living in alignment with what my soul wanted and desired and it let me know on a regular basis with how things kept happening until I learned that lesson and chose differently.

That is all in the past up until recently and does not define who I truly am. So, in order to move forward, we cannot let it control us. We choose another path that is what our heart and body need. I did all the things possible to work through it. I never wanted to be put on medications…I tried for a hot second and in my body knew it was just a NO. So, I sought an amazing therapist (so blessed to have found her) who then introduced me to all the things…Chakras, Reiki (she referred me to my Reiki Master), which in turn lit my path up. I had already been into crystals because of my Grandma and using essential oils from a Sister-In-Law, and being previously introduced to clean eating (Advocare through my Aunt) which my body craved. I enrolled in Yoga Teacher Training and met the most amazing people. I helped open and operate a juice bar & yoga studio which deepened the desire to learn all the things holistic. I found an amazing Priestess and took her Dancing with Shadows Program which forced me to dig deep; like in the murkiest of waters within myself. I saw a Shaman and went through a Soul Retrieval, was introduce to Qoya, enrolled into IIN and received a certification as an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, took a “I Am Invincible” course, and completed another IIN course for Hormone Health. And, running a successful cleaning business with my sister.

Throughout it all, I have succeeded, given up, tried again, fallen off, got back up…and life has a way of pushing you over and waking you the f*$% up. It took going through the most toxic relationship I have EVER been in (in 2020) and getting out alive, COVID (which we all know how that impacted us), working for a company I was not happy in, then in 2022, losing my beautiful Grandma who I am so thankful to have had in my life, and the final tipping point, losing my 25-year-old sister and then finding out she was in a very bad relationship where he physically beat her. I can’t sit back any longer. Women need support, love, to be seen & heard, to know their worth. We need to love ourselves and each other, have self-worth and value our mind, body, and soul. We should never settle for the bare minimum or to be treated poorly in any manner. To do things that light us up without the guilt or shame.

And, in my core, I want to empower women. I want them to love themselves, truly deep down. To no longer speak negatively about themselves, to eat foods that are good for their body, to never give themselves to half ass love and even worse to any type of abuse…and then to go back to it because of hopes. I want women to live a life of fulfillment and to never accept anything less again. I want to help them come back to their bodies and self-awareness. To have more grace and forgiveness for themselves so they can in turn have it for others. I want to show that their bodies have all of the knowledge and answers. Through all things holistic, I am here to listen to you and to guide and help you be your highest self throughout your journey.